December 2011
xdesecrate-thru-purityx:
peensylvania:
if i dont meet any band members in 2012 im shooting myself
From the point of view of someone whose family member DID SHOOT AND KILL HERSELF this year, this is selfish, stupid, and infantile. Not meeting a band member is gonna make you kill yourself? YOU MAKE ME SICK.
FUCK YOU
It’s obviously not something their actually going to do....
3rd grade
friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
me: what
friend: OH MAN
OH
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
xmas haul!
I got:
Michael Kors hat and scarf set
A couple clothing items
Slippers
Nail polish
DC Comics Mug
$1505
And I got my dad:
Heat-sensitive mug that fills a fuel gauge on the side when you pour coffee into it
A life-size cut-out of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory [My dad mentioned at the mall that it would be awesome in his science classroom. He teaches Physical/Earth/Life Sciences....
I pissed off some teen age kid at a table I was...
Me: I'm sorry, I'll be back with the right plate
Him: whatever
*as I turn to walk away*
Him: *talking to his friends* he's probably a homo, he's too distraught.
*i turn back to the table*
Me: you know, you shouldn't talk about the dude who's about to serve your food, right beside him. Also, learn the definition of homo, it's a root word that means, "man" in which yes I am a man, more of one than you will ever dream to be. So if you're intentions were referring to me being a homoSEXUAL as in MAN-sexual, which I am, then use a correct form of it. Now, sit there little boy, while this gay man goes to get your food for you.
*i leave and come back*
Me: here's your AIDs stuffed burrito you ordered.
His friends tipped me $20
New Year's Resolution.
skinnyminibaby:
Slim Shoulders
Collar Bones
Willowy Arms
Tiny Waist
Flat Tummy
Hip Bones
Thigh Gap
Welp.
kawaiiprincess2k11:
MERRY CHRISTMAS YALL
let me lvoe u
imjustaboywithadream:
oh shit do you know what tomorrow is
new camera day for thousands of fucking morons
which means fucking thousands of pictures of sepia-tinted eyes and lawn chairs
3 tags
Person: What turns you on?
Normal people: Beautiful eyes and smile, smart, funny..
Me: Rockstars that are old enough to be my father
to all the girls who are posting pictures on...
laugh-at-me-br0:
Christmas is about Jesus. Not your boobs.
Boobs > Jesus in every possible way.
Watchhomophobicorphan:
kawaiiprincess2k11:
is this how you dance to dubstep
yes but standing up
omg
Watchmynamekyle:
Do you guys remember the time I was a senior in high school and had to create a commercial for my economics class and so I produced this and showed it to the class and nobody laughed except for me but I still got an A and my teacher kept the DVD to show to his classes every year? Because I do.
HEY THIS REALLY WORKS
lifeandcuteguys:
1. Hold your breath for 24 hours 2. die
How To Be Entirely Unexceptional
Being entirely average is a full time job. You’ve got to be no more the best at anything, than you are the worst at anything. You won’t be anyone’s favorite, but that will be cancelled out by not being anyone’s least favorite either. The trick is to just hover in the middle, in a pedestrian purgatory, if you will. You know, the character that gets killed off first in a...
6 tags
Davey Havok's Spoken Letter: A Crash Love Extra...
A month goes by in minutes. A month. This is the amount of time I have at home after returning from the Cex Cells tour that immediately follows the December Underground campaign. When constantly in motion, your perception of time tends to become skewed. A week in Europe can seem like a month. A month at home can seem like a week. I have to think twice before deciding that today is indeed Tuesday,...
“I never completed high school and I am very rich and very successful.”
– Tre Cool (via americanidi0tt)
